Going somewhere or doing anything with Ryan can be quite an adventure – you just never know what he is likely to do. Ryan marches to the beat of his own drum and doesn’t worry about social norms and mores (for the most part). One “Ryan Adventure” that we still laugh about was the first time Ryan had to go to “mandatory mass” (the religious education program at our church requires the children to go to certain grade level masses). My husband took him and it was probably the most painful hour in his life. Ryan farted loudly on the wooden bench (you know what that sounds like?!) and when Dan glared at him he whispered loudly “sorry, sorry, sorry – it slipped”. Of course this didn’t happen during everyone singing. Oh no, this was during a prayer being conducted by the priest alone and he had fallen silent so everyone could pray for their own intentions…silently.
Of course, it didn’t stop there. Ryan wanted to know what the “sink” (baptismal fount) was; he mouthed the words because he didn’t want people to know he did not yet know the words and so forth. Danny was so totally embarrassed and I laughed so hard I nearly peed my pants. Now I digress but I needed to give you some background. That church episode took place about 3-4 years ago. Today, Ryan had to go to church to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation.
For those of you who aren’t Catholic, the Sacrament of Reconcilation or Confession allows the sinner to confess their sins to the priest and be absolved of them after doing a penance. Ryan’s 4th grade religious education class was scheduled for this afternoon so off we went. I gave him the sheet that outlined the process with the appropriate words and prayers. The religious education director called him up to wait for his turn to go into the confessional. As he was 2nd online, Ryan’s turn came pretty quick and Danny, Matty and I watched carefully from our pew. Now, Ryan had decided ahead of time he did not want to go “face to face” but traditional. But, when he went in the confessional, he went into the face to face by mistake. Instead of staying there, Ryan walked out and went in the traditional side. We couldn’t imagine what was the point since the priest already saw you but well hey, that’s Ryan.
He was in there for a while and I couldn’t imagine what he was saying. He is only 9 – what could he have done? But, I know sometimes the priests take a bit longer because the kids are still new at it. Finally, he came out and he went to the rail to say the prayers that were part of his penance. Now, the church has a row of electric votive candles at the railing and Ryan knelt there and began to pray. I took one look at that row of dark, unlit candles and I knew there would be no way he would be able to resist.
I turned to Dan and Matt and you could see they too had the same thought. So we turned and watched Ryan, kneeling there all angelic. All of a sudden, one candle flickered to life. Then another. And another – bing, bing, bing until at least 7 or so were flickering merrily. We could barely contain our laughter! They we are sitting in a solemn church with all the statues covered up (a bit creepy if you asked me) and the Desio family is laughing. Great – yeah us the irreverent bunch. Finally, Ryan returned to our pew and we told him you aren’t supposed to light the candles without making a donation. Ryan looked at us contritely and Dan fished out a few dollars from his pocket and told Ryan to go back up and make the donation – BUT DON’T LIGHT ANY MORE CANDLES! Ryan did what he was told and then we left with a smile on our faces and in our hearts – Ryan never fails to disappoint!