Only My Kid!

Only My Kid!

Going somewhere or doing anything with Ryan can be quite an adventure – you just never know what he is likely to do. Ryan marches to the beat of his own drum and doesn’t worry about social norms and mores (for the most part). One “Ryan Adventure” that we still laugh about was the first time Ryan had to go to “mandatory mass” (the religious education program at our church requires the children to go to certain grade level masses). My husband took him and it was probably the most painful hour in his life.  Ryan farted loudly on the wooden bench (you know what that sounds like?!) and when Dan glared at him he whispered loudly “sorry, sorry, sorry – it slipped”. Of course this didn’t happen during everyone singing. Oh no, this was during a prayer being conducted by the priest alone and he had fallen silent so everyone could pray for their own intentions…silently.

the acoustics!!!

Of course, it didn’t stop there.  Ryan wanted to know what the “sink” (baptismal fount) was; he mouthed the words because he didn’t want people to know he did not yet know the words and so forth. Danny was so totally embarrassed and I laughed so hard I nearly peed my pants.  Now I digress but I needed to give you some background.  That church episode took place about 3-4 years ago.  Today, Ryan had to go to church to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

For those of you who aren’t Catholic, the Sacrament of Reconcilation or Confession allows the sinner to confess their sins to the priest and be absolved of them after doing a penance. Ryan’s 4th grade religious education class was scheduled for this afternoon so off we went. I gave him the sheet that outlined the process with the appropriate words and prayers.  The religious education director called him up to wait for his turn to go into the confessional.  As he was 2nd online, Ryan’s turn came pretty quick and Danny, Matty and I watched carefully from our pew.  Now, Ryan had decided ahead of time he did not want to go “face to face” but traditional. But, when he went in the confessional, he went into the face to face by mistake.  Instead of staying there, Ryan walked out and went in the traditional side.  We couldn’t imagine what was the point since the priest already saw you but well hey, that’s Ryan.

He was in there for a while and I couldn’t imagine what he was saying. He is only 9 – what could he have done? But, I know sometimes the priests take a bit longer because the kids are still new at it. Finally, he came out and he went to the rail to say the prayers that were part of his penance. Now, the church has a row of electric votive candles at the railing and Ryan knelt there and began to pray. I took one look at that row of dark, unlit candles and I knew there would be no way he would be able to resist.

just press the button and voila! let there be light!

I turned to Dan and Matt and you could see they too had the same thought.  So we turned and watched Ryan, kneeling there all angelic.  All of a sudden, one candle flickered to life.  Then another. And another – bing, bing, bing until at least 7 or so were flickering merrily.  We could barely contain our laughter! They we are sitting in a solemn church with all the statues covered up (a bit creepy if you asked me) and the Desio family is laughing. Great – yeah us the irreverent bunch. Finally, Ryan returned to our pew and we told him you aren’t supposed to light the candles without making a donation.  Ryan looked at us contritely and Dan fished out a few dollars from his pocket and told Ryan to go back up and make the donation – BUT DON’T LIGHT ANY MORE CANDLES! Ryan did what he was told and then we left with a smile on our faces and in our hearts – Ryan never fails to disappoint!

10 Responses to Only My Kid!

  1. he’s too much.  Thats great about the lighting of the candles…i love it.  I believe that there was spirit there 🙂

  2. Now see I like kids that march to a different tune! I have six kids(five by birth) ALL of them are different, the last three are trying to kill me I think! One is a drama queen, one is semi goth, and my youngest son drives me banana’s teens are not fun and try have five kids with IQ’s all over 180, to damn smart! But their my baby’s and I love them. OK I found you on Blogaholic’s and I’m your newest follower, I have three blogs and I just started a woman’s forum. Your welcome to stop by one or three or none at all! Thanks for making me laugh!

    •  @AdairButler Welcome and thank you for stopping by! Kids really say and do the darndest things don’t they? I love him to death and he never ceases to amaze me 🙂
      I will definitely stop by – always glad to meet new friends 🙂

  3. What is it about kids and candles?
    We’re Jewish, so every Friday night we light Shabbat candles at home.  I got my kids (2.5 y/o twins) a toy set, and now EVERY DAY- no- EVERY COUPLE OF MINUTES I have to “help” them light the candles, say all the prayers…
    And of course, their Shabbat toy set comes with a bottle of wine.  So now, regardless of mixed company, whenever they are asked if they want something to drink, they say, “Wine!”  And then they mumble some garbled nonsense that sounds like alcohol slurring, but is actually an attempt to pray in Hebrew.
    I swear… I’m not getting my toddlers drunk.  It just really really really looks that way.
    …stopped by from MBC!  Hope to see you around!

  4. Oh my gosh–this is SO my life.  I generally feel like people without kids think we are insane…whatever, bring on the memories to look back on someday later in life, right? 😉

  5. Confession is so scary! I can
    remember panicking every time we had to do it during Sunday School. I would always blurt out the same thing: SOMETIMES I’M MEAN TO MY MOM AND I SWEAR A LOTTTTT!!!

    The candle thing is so funny and adorable! Who says church has to be serious. 🙂

    •  @ErinRachelleKelly For kids, even adults, it can be scary! I don’t want to think about the bad things and these poor kids, what did they really do?  I like the priest that heard his confession though – for penance, he told Ryan he needed to set the table and then put the dishes in the dishwasher after dinner.  I wonder…can we make requests???

  6. My Mom was a staunch Catholic, and would sometimes pull out her “child side” to make church more bearable for us kids.  One time she hinted that she’d love to replace the tape played after communion with something by Def Leppard to liven things up a bit.  The woman was a genius!

Leave a reply

CommentLuv badge

The Magic of Miche